A monthly publication of the Youth Department of the Diocese of Johannesburg

Let’s not forget that ’99 is officially the year of the older person! And the special day on which to highlight this is Saturday the 2^nd October. So if you have not done so already this year, how about trying to organise an ol’fo-geez party in your parish hall that day? Invite all the youthful over 65’s or over 70’s of the parish to join in some singing of golden oldies tunes, some card games, some snacks, some dancing even – all you need is an old record player and an amplifier. Remember our elders are famous for their WISDOM also. So why not invite them to a story telling competition, or a debate against you on an interesting topic!

At the end of August we said farewell to Xola Nqono who completed his year of service August 31^st. The new assistant who fills his place is Timothy Bernard from Eldorado Park parish. He is 22 years of age and TDH. We leave you to guess what that stands for!

I believe my present groups program addresses these questions adequately because it deals with...* the rising unemployment of youth, by developing entrepreneurial skills? YES / NO

* the moral vacuum evident in a society plagued with corruption and dishonesty? YES / NO

* the need for democratic negotiation skills and peace education in a crime-ridden society? YES / NO

* responsible team efforts in our current climate of individualism and self interest? YES / NO

* the death plagues of HIV [Aids], Malaria, Tuberculosis and Venereal Diseases? YES / NO

* the still current realities of racism in our society? YES / NO

* the still current realities of sexism in our society? YES / NO

* the need for links with the international community we are part? YES / NO

* the confusion and loss of self-esteem in most young people today? YES / NO

* the sense of youth powerlessness to change anything at all? YES / NO

* the culture of anger and entitlement that threatens to over-ride duty and work? YES / NO

* the growing personal discomfort-zone myth that life is easier elsewhere? YES / NO

* the myth that work has to be rewarded or awarded recognition to be of any value? YES / NO

Hierarchical humour:

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends: "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'. The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'! The third Catholic woman says smugly: "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he pops into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'. The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle glance: "Well, what have you to say?" She replies: "My son is a gorgeous 6 foot 2 hard-bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God!' (– passed on to us by Marfam!)

Thanks to the many who e.mailed us various items for possible inclusion into the Y-Link. Space is limited, and some submissions are a little too lengthy, but we do hope to make use of your contributions in due time.

Creshenda Maraba from Eldorado Park parish was elected (by drawing lots) in the course of the DYF to be one of the youth representatives at the next DPC meeting.

It is a growing trend. We encourage every parish to establish a junior youth group for the under 16s; a senior youth group for the 16 to 21s and a Y-A-Group for those in their twenties. No one reacted to the comment that August is Young Adult month in the way June is Youth month. I expected a strong contingent of ladies to react and claim that August is Women's month! It makes us wonder whether anyone reads the Y-link at all apart from the cartoons and jokes in the hard-copy!

Visit the Joburg Diocese Website at http://www.catholic-jhb.org.za

Handy info and ideas for youth groups can be found at http://www.youth.co.za ; http://come.to/gen-x ; http://come.to/youthbooks ; http://come.to/gen.y ;

Not only does sex outside marriage jeopardize your physical health (did you ever see a condom with a guarantee or insurance notice on it?); it jeopardizes your eternal salvation! Please, Please, Please! Even if you don’t accept bible teaching, common sense, drawn from experience, teaches that you can’t protect your heart or your mind with a condom! I’ve never met anyone who has regretted waiting till marriage; I’ve met lots who wished they had!

Stats tell us that one in five teens in this country are HIV positive. Nothing positive about that! Scary statistics. And so, the government, the media, the educators who consider young people to have no self control claim that the mighty CONDOM is the only saviour to the spread of AIDS. NO, NO, No! They say that young people can't help being sexually active. They consider you to be animals! Are you not insulted by their condescending attitude? When you are ill do you go to a vet? Safe sex sucks! Hi-fi love is the answer. Not the right choice; it's the only choice! Stay HIV negative by staying 100% pure. Be an HIV-Free zone. You know, it was God who invented SAFE-SEX! But he called it MARRIAGE!

But the TV, the radio, the mags, the "health-clinics" refuse to believe that is the answer. So their constant tune is - Be as "active" as you wish! Abstinence is impossible! So!... Keep a condom ready for any emergency? Sometimes so-called AIDS educators do begin with ABC. Abstinence if you can. Be as faithful as possible, but since most of you can't – "Condomize"! That is, keep a condom ready, and remember, No condom, no sex! Aren’t we sick of hearing that? It’s been played over and over again for several years but it obviously is not working! May our response with a new tune be - ABC - Abstinence... Be faithful to God, to yourself and to your future spouse... and C is for viva Chastity which keeps you happy and healthy.

Divide players into two teams. Mark the Start and Finish lines about 30 feet apart. Teams line up with one person behind the other, facing the finish line. Next, players sit down and wrap their legs around the waist of the person in front to form the body of the centipede. Players' arms become the legs. When the leader says "Go," players lift with their arms and begin to push the centipede toward the finish line. If players become separated, they must reconnect before continuing. The winning centipede must completely cross the finish line with all its players connected

Announce that you're going to play soccerl... guys against girls! Then after the guys have calmed down, announce that the rules are the same as regular soccer, except that the guys must hold one foot off the ground with one hand at all times. They must run, pass, hike, catch and even kick on one foot. The girls usually clobber the guys in this game.

There can be any number of boys and girls on a team. The team on offense begins on the 20-yard line. They get 4 downs to score a touchdown. There are no additional 1st downs. The yardage is made as the ball is hiked to the QB who is then picked up and carried by the rest of the team down the field. The entire team must be joined together, either by carrying the QB or holding onto team members while carrying the QB. The defense begins each play lined up on their 1-yard line. When the ball is hiked, the defense locks arms and moves down field, when the 2 teams meet, they try to dislodge one of the offensive players from the rest of the team. When this is accomplished, the play is over, and the next down begins. If no TD is scored, the defense goes offensive and starts on their 20-yard line. Both teams must walk while the ball is in play and if the defense breaks its chain, they must reunite before proceeding down field.

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she said. "He's out"!

"Then we cannot come in", they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in." The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We don't go into a house together", they replied.

"Why is that?" she wanted to know.One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth", he said pointing to one of his friends, "and he is Success, and I am Love". Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed:

"How nice", he said! "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth".

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success"?Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love. Our home will be filled with love".

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice", said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest." Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love! Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out. But since you invited Love, wherever he goes we go with him. Wherever there is Love there is also wealth and success!

And God said: "Let the data arrange itself in correct places." And he created floppy discs and hard discs, stiffies and CD-Roms. And God said: "Let there be computers, to accommodate floppies, hard discs, stiffies and CD-Roms." And so he created computers, and called them hardware, and separated hardware from software. When software did not yet exist, God quickly created programs - big and small - and told them: "Go and increase, and fill memory."

But God was getting lonely, creating programs by himself, and so he said: "I will create a Programmer in Our own image, and let him be master over computers, programs and data." And God created a Programmer, and settled him down in the Data Center, so he could work in it. And he took the Programmer to the Directory Tree, and said: "You can run programs from every directory, but not from Windows, for the day you do that, you are doomed to die."

And God said: "It is not right that the Programmer should be alone. Let Us create for him one that would admire the work of the Programmer." And he took from the programmer a bone in which there was no brain, and created One that would admire the work of the Programmer, and brought him to the Programmer. And he called it User. And they sat together under naked DOS, and were not ashamed of it.